Reflecting on Passing Gas...nope, not kidding!

Yes, I'm going to discuss a body function. I'm just weird that way. So, fair warning and here I go.

During my hospital stay, I frequently had nurses come and ask me questions. "How are you feeling?" "Is there anything I can do for you?" But the most frequent question was, "Have you passed gas?" Usually, when I am asked this kind of question, I feel just a little offended, and I'm embarrassed if my answer is yes.

The nurses had to ask this to find out if my intestines were functioning properly yet. At first, I answered, "No, not yet." without any emotion one way or another about it. After a while, with repeated questions yielding the same answer, I began to feel a little apologetic and like I was a disappointment to my nurses. My answer changed to, "No, I'm sorry, I haven't." Then I began to feel really inadequate. Why couldn't I pass gas for these nice ladies? I felt I needed to be more encouraging in my answers to let them know I was doing all I could. "No, I'm sorry, I haven't. But I'm sure I will soon, I can feel bubbles moving around in me." Then I began to fudge a little, " I think I may have passed a little, but I can't be sure, the morphine has me kind of groggy."

By Monday morning, I was a little desperate. If I didn't "toot" they might not let me go home. I paced the floor, rubbed my tummy, sat on the toilet, gave little pushes...no gas. I was never so ashamed to not be able to answer the question in the positive. Finally, I felt some pressure "down there." I shifted around, gave a little wiggle and ... out popped a little bubble. I could now proudly tell the nurse, "Yes! I passed gas." She made the appropriate note on my chart and I was released to go home.

Later that night, while relaxing at home on the couch. The portals opened and the gas giant erupted. I let out the biggest gas cloud of my life... my nurses would have been so proud.

God is so way beyond good!

In my last entry, I was preparing for surgery and a possible eight day stay in the hospital. I got a wall charger for my MP3 player and made sure all my songs were loaded. Then I wound up getting a new laptop and got it all loaded and ready to use when I felt up to it. I thought I might use it to watch movies while lying in my hospital bed. Charged the cell phone and MP3 player the night before. Made sure Steve had all the contact numbers he needed. I showed Steve how to pay bills online. My parents were planning on driving out on Tuesday and visiting with other relatives until I was ready to come home. My husband planned odd jobs he would do around the house while I was gone. We were all ready for the long haul. I was following my dad's advice to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. After all, my doctors had pretty much told me to expect less than the best.

All our planning turned out to be wasted. God answered every prayer on my behalf in the best possible way. I don't know why we are constantly surprised when we ask God for something and He says, "Yes." Here is a bit of a rundown of how things turned out.

• My surgery only lasted three hours instead of four
• They were able to do laparoscopically assisted surgery instead of a foot long incision
• The mass was attached to several organs, the ob-gyn surgeon was grateful to have the general surgeon on hand to help with that complication
• I awoke from anesthesia with no nausea, feeling great
• They took out less than a foot of my large intestine
• I didn't need a colostomy bag
• I wound up with a private room after the first few hours
• I was released three days (Monday) after surgery instead of eight, I even felt good enough Monday night to cook dinner
• I was only on a clear liquid diet through Saturday, a full liquid diet (thicker stuff) Sunday, and regular food on Monday
• The hospital had gluten free toast on my breakfast plate Monday morning, what a surprise!
• I lost five pounds in the hospital ☺
• I am feeling really good - almost too good, pray I don't overdo things
• The pathology report came back clean, no cancer
• I haven't needed pain medication since they took me off the IV Sunday morning, though I am taking a little during the day because my doctor told me to
• I have had no fibromyalgia symptoms for the past two weeks
• I have had no hot flashes or surgical menopause symptoms
• My recovery will be four to six weeks, not six to eight (got to admit, I was kind of looking forward to not going back to work until after the holidays 

It felt so good to sleep in my own bed on Monday. I had to wait two hours for Steve to pick me up because he had arranged to have the carpets cleaned that morning. But it was worth the wait. Maybe I would have gotten more flowers if I had stayed in the hospital longer (why don't people send you flowers at home while you are recovering?) but that tradeoff is OK too. My parents are here, originally to take care of me while Steve worked, mostly to keep me from doing too much and hurting myself. The surgeon who called to give me the pathology report asked how I was doing. When I told him how great I felt, he laughed and said, "You're tough. You'll be fine."